“What can I do?” This is a phrase I often hear as a woman nears or passes her due date. It’s more of a plea for help than an enquiry. I offer encouragement, support and occasionally a bit of bold ‘suck it up girl!” sentiments. It often takes a reminder that she’s paying me for as much as I don’t ‘do’ as I do ‘do.’
For starters, I don’t induce women. Inductions have no place in healthy, low-risk pregnancies. We live in a society where women are programmed that the due date is more of an expiration date. The EDD is not a “Use by……” date! It’s not even a “Best if used by….” date. The majority of hospital-bound women are not ‘allowed’ to go past that 40-week mark so women have become programmed to think in Cinderella terms. When the clock strikes midnight, tragedy occurs. Sadly, instead of a Prince Charming with glass slipper in hand, the result is often an OB surgeon wielding the cesarean scalpel. This kind of mentality seeps even into the minds of women where chemical inductions are not even an option and causes needles worry.
I cringe inwardly when I hear women state matter-of-factly, “I’m going to go into labor early” or “My baby will be born on the .” Often these are first-time mothers who are wishfully willing themselves out of a past-your-due-date situation. Or worse, they’ve got family visiting from out-of-town and understandably, want to have their baby ‘in time’ for the visitors to enjoy the end result. More times than I can count the family finally leaves an over-due mama and she finally lets go of all expectations and goes into the labor the next day. It’s too much pressure!
If you understand the physiology, you understand why this doesn’t work! When under stress you release adrenaline and noradrenaline. These are necessary hormones but must be kept in balance with the other labor hormones; oxytocin and endorphins. When stress, worry and timelines tip the balance, cortisol release is the result and worrying about not having your baby ‘on time’ becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy!
What advice do I have? First, don’t ‘plan’ your birth. This sounds logical but women, especially type A women, get too much in their heads and try to figure it all out. Birth is one of those wild rides where you can’t see ahead of the entrance to know what it’s going to be like. You’ve heard stories about it but you have nothing to compare it to, and nothing you do can change what lies ahead. You have to stand patiently in line until it’s your turn and be willing to go along regardless of what twists and turns await. Second, unless someone lives close by or is willing to travel without a planned return date, don’t include them in your birth. It rarely works the way you think it will and only causes unnecessary stress and worry. Third, forget about expiration dates. Think in terms of my baby will probably come sometime in the fall around Thanksgiving as opposed to an arbitrary date.
Forget about trying to get things going on your own. Homeopathy is considered safe and will nudge things along if you’re ready. If you’re not ready, it won’t work. When it comes to herbs, castor oil, and other concoctions meant to get labor going, leave those to the circumstances where there are issues that need to be dealt with. These only lead to further disappointment if they don’t work. If they do work, women often experience longer than necessary labors that fizzle out, again leading to more discouragement. Trying to fix a non-existent problem often leads to creating a problem that didn’t need to exist.
What does help? For starters, sex. What helped the baby get in often helps the baby get out. Again, that physiology thing. Make sure the baby is in a good position. Do everything you can to ensure an optimally positioned baby. Visit the chiropractor, osteopath and the www.spinningbabies.com website.
Get a massage. Go for a walk. See an acupuncturist. Listen to Hypnobirthing CD’s. Watch a funny movie. Do something for someone else to get the focus off your belly.
If you’re a believer in the Word of God, spend time with the author. Pour out your heart to him. Lay your expectations, desires and dreams at His alter and surrender it all. This time of waiting is preparation of our spiritual walk. It’s one of those times where your faith will be tested. Study for scriptures that deal with waiting, resting and hoping. Rewrite them, pray them, memorize them. Sing songs of praise and worship. “I waited” comes to mind.
Lastly, give thanks. Be thankful to have a Creator who knows and cares. Be thankful you have the blessing of a little one in your belly. Ponder all the positive things that you can do with the baby still on the inside and cherish these last days and moments of solitude, bubble baths and quiet reading times. And don’t forget to be thankful that you’ve hired a midwife who has walked in your shoes, understands your complaints and will continue to smile sweetly while reminding you why she doesn’t ‘do’ something!
Luke 12: 22-31 Do Not Worry
Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
![I keep holding on [Explored]](http://static.flickr.com/7097/7309045590_eb4be7eaca_t.jpg "I keep holding on [Explored]")
