Dangerous or Safe, Part III

I’ve talked at length with some really awesome midwives and we’ve all came to the same conclusions and encountered the same problems. There are two major issues with the midwifery profession that seems to be the same whether you’re in California or Georgia or anywhere in between. Both issues stem from the training and nature of what midwives do.

Midwifery seems to draw two types of women – amazing, hardworking women who sacrifice a lot for the sake of midwifery. Most midwives fall into this category and are loving, caring and almost universally express a deep desire, or calling, to do this type of work. On the other hand, the other type of woman borders on what we call the ‘crazies’ – women who have deep-seeded need to be loved and validated through others. You probably know the type – they are the ones that people envision when they think of midwives and become afraid for their daughters. These women might be too odd, too illiterate, too lazy, too you-fill-in-the-blank but they wouldn’t be the ones who could get into medical school or even a good nursing program. Midwifery is an easier path into the health care professions. There typically aren’t prerequisites or degrees required other than a passion and willingness to learn and it can be done fairly quickly compared to nursing or becoming a doctor. Birth is some heady work. There is nothing more amazing than bearing witness to the miracle of birth, new life emerging and taking its first breath. For the unstable, it is an easy draw into what can be a very powerful position that often flies under the normal radar. These midwives NEED the validation that comes with being a caretaker or even worse, the savior figure. These ladies are the ones that I believe Carla Hartley describes in a recent Facebook post.

With birth endorphin and oxytocin levels at all-time highs, women typically become very bonded to the ones caring for them. Robert Bradley, MD talked about this effect and was instrumental in getting the fathers into the delivery room in an effort to redirect their passions back to their husbands. Take someone with a narcissistic personality and you’ve got the perfect birthing cocktail to quench her thirst for being needed, validated and loved.

Virtually every seasoned midwife that I know and respect has had issues with midwifery students. Partly because the crazies can be hard to distinguish until you’ve spent some time with them and partly because the ones who aren’t bordering on the edge of being a good CSI character fall into the other student category – the ‘midwifery is a really cool way to make money’ mindset.

Over the years many midwifery students have passed through my doors. Some have gone on to become midwives, many have not. Sadly a few have ditched the hard work of apprenticeship and gone on to ‘practice’ without finishing their training. These are the scariest and most dangerous of all! One student attended about ten births with me over a 6 month period. After completing a few weeks of midwifery school, she felt she was competent enough to become a ‘spiritual midwife’ which knowing her, I translated as too lazy to do the work, can’t wait that long, my husband wants me to earn money type of midwifery. She hung out her shingle and took on clients. One of her ‘clients’ told me about her birth and the horrors she endured under her care. After a long, arduous labor and against the midwife’s persistence, the client went to the hospital and ended up with a cesarean. It was found that she was experiencing a uterine rupture. Had this woman not listened to her own body and intuition, the results could have been disastrous. As it is, it was another blow to the competency of ALL midwives in the eyes of the medical establishment who cared for the client upon her transport.

I’ve trained some pretty amazing midwives and after many years have come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t have much to do with me or the training I give them. It has to do with their commitment, their drive, dedication and passion combined with a stable homelife and supportive family. I don’t make great midwives; great women learn to be midwives! Wonderful women like Debby Hervey, Lisa Showalter and Jeanne Anderson who I am honored to have been part of their midwifery training. These three women exemplified what it takes to be a good, or SAFE midwife. Secure in who they are, they didn’t need midwifery to make them feel more important, they understood what dedication entailed, they were willing to do the hard, tedious tasks and put in long, hard hours in spite of long drives and physical ailments.

On the flip side I’ve had students who gave many excuses why their coursework wasn’t completed. It’s hard work for sure. I spent nearly 30 hours a week reading, studying, answering questions and writing papers when I was training to be a midwife. I had four children at the time and was homeschooling as well. Often I would sit on the floor with my toddler playing and infant nursing reading a midwifery textbook. Each night my family would go to bed at eight and that’s when I would begin my computer work, answering questions and writing term papers until midnight. I know it’s not easy, but it can be done if you’re determined to do it and are striving to be a SAFE midwife. One midwifery student spent two years giving me every excuse possible why she couldn’t get her coursework done and finally asked me if I could just sign her off without her doing the work. It was silly of me to think that after two years things would change and she’d step up to the plate of responsibility. Instead she was looking for entitlement and handouts, neither of which I was willing to give her. The final blow was asking to be paid for the privilege of catching my clients babies in order to get her numbers. Another student out my door – another student now playing midwife, taking clients for pay and not willing to do the hard things required to provide the best possible care.

I wish I had answers in how to deal with these problems. Don’t tolerate their bad behavior and you’re labeled as mean. Attempt to hold them accountable and you’re accused of being a bully. I agree with Carla Hartley’s statement, “I am convinced that the only way to eliminate a dangerous midwife is to educate parents so that they ask the right questions and choose their birth attendant carefully. After a while, the dangerous midwives’ business will decrease and people will be choosing someone else. Then she will have to decide to change or quit.”

So I will continue to educate women and families to ask the right questions. Don’t be afraid to ask about training, experiences, transport rates, etc. The internet is also making it easier to get referrals and learn about problem midwives. Even a good, safe midwife can’t please everyone all of the time so an occasional or odd complaint might not mean much. Once I googled myself and found a disgruntled ex-client had written all kinds of nasty about me on a mothering board. She neglected to mention that she hadn’t paid me a penny for her birth, was sent to collections and then became infuriated when I refused to care for her next pregnancy until she paid for the first one – or that any of her complaints were fabricated in retaliation. But if you find repeated complaints about a certain midwife, then take heed. Another good source of recommendations would be childbirth teachers and doulas.

Bless the women who have what it takes to be good midwives! Bless Debbie, Jeanne and Lisa who have gone on continue to do the good work. May God bless you and the women and babies you serve!

Jeanne and Lori

Lisa

Advertisement